I really wish that Albert Wang could fully realize how much he as changed me for the better since he came into my life, how deeply I love him and how badly I wish I could be with him every minute of the day and night with him. When we started dating (September 2008 and still going strong!) I thought that he was such a complex person, unlike anyone I've ever met. Oh, the things I could learn from him! And, boy, have I ever! I have learned more about myself, communication, family relations, "love telepathy" and so much more!I remember telling him a few months back that I knew him more than he does himself. He was rather taken aback but, then flattered. He realized that through thick and thin, good times and bad, and richer and poorer, I will never leave his side. Even when he doesn't see me, I'm there. Even when I'm up to my armpits busy or juggling several things at once, he's really number one in my life. I am completely earnest when I say that I will dump everything in my world just for him.
I don't care that he will sometimes deny it, but I need his strength and belief in me to keep going. He expects, almost demands results from me in most things I do. Regardless of what he may think, he's my catalyst and when I get going, I rely on him to keep me in action. Ironically, he thinks I'm so decisive, strong and independent already. That I don't need him. I'm really not really all that decisive, strong and independent. I was a bit like that when Timmy was a child but, that was only for raising Timmy. The strength and independence was only for raising a son practically solo. What else could I do? Most times, I'm too embarassed to admit my weaknesses to him. I don't want him to look at me like I'm a fool, that I'm one of the weakest people ever, scared to take risks and looking challenges in the eye. This shows how much I love and respect him.
If ever comes a day that he leaves me, I will literally wither away and die. I know that sounds rather dramatic, but it's true. An ex-girlfriend from his late teens to early 20s recently popped into our lives. For four days straight I was teetering on a mental cliff. The thought of some woman, disregarding our relationship just for her selfish vanity, to come into our lives and trying to wreck what we have built makes me literally insane!
If he were here right now I would hold him so tightly. Wrap my arms around him to keep anything and anyone from harming him. Snuggle him to let him know he's safe with me.
Simple meanderings about how much I love Albert and how much he loves me...
